Hi my name is Ashley Roberts and I am 13, l would to talk to you about changing school hours to help teenagers. If we started the school day later, we would have more sleep and be better prepared for school.
- Scientists say more sleep = better rest and more work
- when puberty starts, teens want to sleep more but we have lots of energy and want to stay up
- there is a hormone called melatonin that makes your body go to sleep. Scientists say that it takes longer for you to become tired when you are a teen.
- It is not your fault when you can’t sleep, it’s because melatonin has not been released yet
When we reach puberty all of us don’t what to go to sleep
because of a hormone call melatonin when we have it done
have this we will not be that tried like if I didn’t not have puberty.
d the only thing you what is a good night sleep and Not have to wake up early .but some people sayt hat You have to go bad early I will like to go bad . Around 9:00or10:00 but now I can’t because if I go. And late and then wake up like 6:00 Am but you gust what to stay up late I will kille to stay up for long and some time. I wonder if like will be good if theengs rule the Wolde but that will never happen .and some time adult think the withe go and smoke but ,only dum people think that. And even young people should have the time to do this and when I men do this I mean have a good slept because no one do not like a good like and then be A pessimistic Proson and that not all
April 12, 2015 at 9:52 pm
You have covered the main parts of your argument here – but you have squashed them all into one large paragraph. This is difficult because I can see that you have listened to some of our classroom discussions, but it is quite hard to be sure what your meaning is.
Targets
1) What about those full stops? Try to separate each piece of information – possibly by a separate line for now and then add a full stop at the end of each separate piece of information. I will show you how to do this in class.
2) Spelling – use a dictionary to help you whenever you can, this can be online or on your phone.
3) Have you written a plan – what ideas will you choose to develop? Why?
June 3, 2015 at 2:01 pm
Ok thank you ?
June 4, 2015 at 10:26 am
My name is Ashley or Bob
June 2, 2015 at 11:14 pm
Hello Ashley,
I can see that you have tried to develop some ideas here – in particular you have really focussed on the amount of sleep needed by teens. I can also see that you have tried to put in some full stops.
Targets
Meet with me and we will develop how to separate your ideas put those full stops in the right places.
Thanks,
Mr North